Today...Now

Sometimes I find myself wandering down that no where road of life called,woulda, shoulda and coulda.

Being contemplative in nature this seems to be my default button....
But I've learned not to dwell there...
                                        

The present holds too much potential, to be marred by an impervious past.
                                      

so run, walk, drift or cruise but go forward.


                                                         via pinterest

                  the prize awaits.

Finding Feathers

Now that two of my daughters have left the nest. One who has permanently flown  (although she does come home to sleep on the occasions when she has two twelve hour shifts back to back)
The other daughter is in university and will be home the occasional  weekend and holidays.
                                      

                               a favorite photo from a few years ago sits on a window ledge

Somehow this has has felt like a double whammy of change. I knew it was  to happen eventually, but it has taken me a little time to adjust.

Through the highs and lows of this phase and settling into a new normal, I have been working on cleaning up the remains that somehow seemed to be an integral element, of their bedroom.
I even wrote about it once out of desperation...here.
                                                   

                                            the bittersweet tidy:)
One day as I was working on organising and revamping their closet, I came across a poster my girls had put up when they were much younger, and why this poster ended up in the closet is a mystery.
Here behind the beautiful wedding dress,(which will eventually get cleaned and boxed for my daughter) and banished sweaters and other rejected clothing, was a groovy girl poster.
                                            

It looked ambiguous and innocent, and I stared at it enchanted.
It took me back to a time of girls and dreams. 
Girls with imaginations and creativity that seemed limitless.
Girls who loved, and lived passionately.
                                                 

Sisters tho' vastly different from one  another; in reality were quite the same.
Two fiercely independent and resilient spirits, both wanting to find a place for their dreams to flourish.
                                                                                 

I recall two brave, "big girls" moving into a bedroom on a different floor, to accommodate a growing family.

I wish for a moment, that these walls would display some of its history, some of the giggles, disputes, and bedtime rituals.
I wish for a moment,  for a do over of the long days, 
  and that children would not grow up  so quickly.                                    

Time does not afford such luxuries, rather paying it forward,
leaving memories behind, like feathers scattered along life's way.

             the welcome home sign holds a special spot, as it was made to welcome hubby and I home once:)




 

For The Love Of Lavender

I planted lavender this year and today seemed like the perfect day to bring some of that aromatic and wistfully, romantic flower inside.

strange, I had admired this lovely,elusive scented herb for years before I finally decided to purchase some...

          my lavender replaced my failing raspberry plants..(.although I did keep a portion of those too:)

Isn't it dreamy? I interspersed the plants with a rock place mat from the dollar store...
              

 shortly after I planted my lavender I came across this pair of chairs by the curb for free.      

                            Isn't serendipity Divine?

playing some more here...in between making applesauce, and doing laundry and more gardening..but this is a lavender post!

 because we all need days that rejuvenate our senses...

days that our spirit is renewed, not by materialism but by simple and earthy elements..natures best, restoring our souls with solitude and garden gifts.

                                         

Getting Ready

The mountain ash outside the window is looking a little thread bare these days.
It clings to it's scarlet berries in a vain attempt to dignity.
                                              

Evening bike rides once a leisurely escape, are now a desperate dash against the ever so prompt close of day.



      Jeans become an essential part of the ward robe again.
                                        

                                          
            Salsa is canned from rampant, brimming gardens.
                            

      Intriguing books make their way home from libraries.                        

I reluctantly close the window by my kitchen sink. I keep it open all summer unless there is a heavy down pour. I leave it open a little...I must hear the sounds from nature and the traffic on the road. It's strange but it soothes me.
                                  

Are you like me does the departure of summer make you feel  a little spent? all the while its strides away, oblivious to any stir of emotion it may have caused...

Happy weekend to you.  Our plans to attend the fall fair today look like they need improvisation....let's see....

                                 to be continued...

Melding Misty Morning

It was almost surreal, the September morning mist felt like a gift from the heavens.

I grabbed my camera as soon as my kids left for school, not wanting to miss any beauty...

dew dropped web

the sheep so motley and mysterious

back porch

Sunrise our horse...looks like a statue

my Claude Monet:)

                                   
                                           words I love...
                               from With New Eyes by Margaret Becker

Because...a powerful word

It struck me deeply the other day how unassuming yet intense this word is...
               Because...                                                       

                       The weight of worlds rests on it.
                        It is a hinge to hidden potential...
                                    

                        Be the cause.
                                

             Who can ever know the impact of a word,
                              a smile or a helping hand?
                                           

             Because ...
                                   

Heaven knows we are often  too hard on ourselves .

                             Be the cause....
                                

                  the harmony in someone's melody....
                                 

                                                                 

                                   Because 
                 Being a cause for good, is not  wasted. 
                                     

                                     

A Flying FaithFILLED Year

I don't usually talk specifically about my kids on this blog, but I thought I'd share a little about the journey my second daughter Katrina has been on this past year.
A year ago we were getting ready to say good bye to her as she headed off to spend a year in Toronto working as a missionary with Urban Promise. She had a passion to be involved with inner city children and youth, and share God's love with them.
AND she thought it would be pretty cool to leave the country and move to the city:)
                                                         

                                                               the good-bye

I had my qualms as any Mom would , but I knew I had to place all my fears into the hands of the One who loves my child more than I ever could.
Katrina had an absolutely amazing year there, although it wasn't without many challenges. 
She wrote about some of these on her blog...http://butneverabandoned.blogspot.ca/2014/08/goodbye-part-two.html

                                                     

That year she spent away from home was likely one of the fastest years for me. 
Eldest girl Brittany was planning a wedding here on the farm. For a big part of the year life lens seemed focused on that, while we prepped and planned their wedding and future home. 

I always dreaded the thought of my children leaving home. 
Now suddenly my house has emptied by two thirds. This unsettles me, but not in the way I expected it too.
My children's journey seems to become my own.
I learn that my life does not revolve solely around them anymore.
 I am happy to see them happy. I almost feel a strange but exciting kind of freedom.
I learn that loving, truly does mean to give them wings. 

I remember after my husband and I dropped Katrina off a year ago, we stopped and ate dinner at an outdoor patio in the city.
 It had been a beautiful September day, and the sky was an ocean of blue.
We were close to the airport so my eyes kept being drawn to the planes flying just over our heads.                                                           

 No one else seemed to notice them but I could not ignore their poignant statement.
I felt like they were a message. A pronounced object lesson on faith and trust.
I have thought about the way those planes flew over our heads often over this past year.

Katrina's year was also my year. My year to trust more. My year to really let go and let God.
My year to see again how good God is, how He never abandons us, or leaves us hopeless.
As I sat beside my daughter at a recent praise and worship service,  I could not stop the tears as we sang....

From the rising to the setting sun. His love endures forever.
And by His grace we will carry on. His love endures forever.
Forever God is faithful, forever God is strong.
Forever He is with us. Forever. Forever.  (Chris Tomlin)

                                               
                                                

 now...settling into dorm life at Tyndale university in Toronto.