A Glance Back To See Ahead

As each year closes, inevitably I seem to find myself in contemplation of sorts.
Life is busy, but at the close of a year I find myself craving the luxury of contemplation and commiseration.
                                                                                 

A year has a way of changing things, and in the process we are changed. Our carefully executed lives are no match to God's plans and purpose.
One can only glance into life's rear view mirror to know that very often we hear ourselves ask, "how did I get here?" 
                                                 

The good and not so good at the time experiences in a fleeting year make me feel small. I would almost feel insignificant were at not for God's undulating grace that flows in and through every place I have been in the past year.
This grace is the current that propels me forward in place of looking back too long and dwelling on situations that must pass like water under the proverbial bridge. 
I read recently that the reason the windshield is much bigger than the rear view mirror is because we are going forward not back. Life is always a forward motion. But there is a mirror to glance back into. I think it may be there to let us know where we have come from. To remind us and help us remember experiences and lessons learned at times along the hard road.
                                             

 The other day as I pulled into the driveway I caught the line of a song playing low on the radio. The unshakable lyrics from Meghan Trainor's catchy song played through my head for the rest of the day...

                    I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you
                            I'm gonna hold you like we're saying good bye
                            Where ever we're standing I won't take you for granted,
                             Cos we'll never know when we'll run out of time.
                             So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you..
                             I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you.



Life holds no guarantees, and in almost an instant can at times change what once we were. I observe people whom I know and love lose their spouses, their careers or their health. Children keep wanting to grow up and try on independence and I keep needing to adjust with every facet of change. 
I am glad my heart doesn't know what 2016 holds. Like this past year it will surge and ripple until it too passes away. So let's love intensely like we are saying good bye, because we never know when we'll run out of time.

                                            

My youngest daughter and I back in May on a spring boat ride.

                               Blessings to you in the coming year!                                    

Releasing The Embrace

                                     

My word for 2014 was embrace. Now before I can embrace 2015.
 I must reflect on the past year and some of the embrace. There was much held, much change. Change seemed to be the common theme, the one constant thread weaving my year in an endless embrace.

The year began with flying. For the first time I took a 'real'flight and escaped the harsh Canadian winter for a week. It was a blissful holiday, but I happily flew home to where I belonged.
                                               

I had a terrible car accident in February a minute from my home in a blinding snow storm. Youngest daughter and I still tremble when we remember the incident and God's Divine protection to us.

Another change  happened  in March, my sweet mother in law neighbour moved away, to live with her daughter. Although I supported the decision  I mourned the loss of her presence next door.
The winter passed in a flurry of projects and wedding plans.
Spring took  it's sweet time- testing my, and all of our  patience....but it came,the barn got painted and fields were planted and the wedding happened. 
                                                                                              

                                       myself,Brittany,hubby...the blessing kiss...

I embraced the highs and lows of this roller coaster ride. It felt as if my hair was still  blowing back as I walked down the aisle with my soon to be new son in law.
                                            

                                            

As the school year drew to a close my second youngest graduated grade eight, and my youngest graduated from 'our little school' we've had children at since 1998.
 I embraced this bitter sweet knowledge with as much poise as I could, knowing it is the brevity of seasons that make each one poignant.
 I embraced another ending also as  I decided the time had come to end my six and a half year stint as lunch duty supervisor at our school. I wanted to let someone else have the wonderful opportunity of working with the children.

I embraced freedom. Most of the summer was spent with my two youngest. I took advantage of spontaneity and moments I have learned to seize. 
                                             

Prioritizing time with hubby whether here at home or riding with him on his motorcycle or chatting more often.

I also embraced disappointment and acceptance of relationships I can not change. I embraced grace more often, not only for others but for myself......
                                          

I welcomed second daughter home from year long inner city missions for a few short weeks before she headed away again to school.

I embraced floundering for a while. I knew to flounder recognizably can be a form of progress. 

                                      

As fall fell and days shortened, I felt peace. My garden was my sanctuary ....lavender, zinnias and gladiola soothed my soul. I read good books and cultivated memory's plots.

                                      
In November I fell into a little part time job at a cafe close by. I embraced the change it brought to my every day routine. Most of all I embraced the fact that God is never too busy to listen to our prayers or to care about the things that we do.

As I consider this year I am awed and humbled at all that has  happened. I glance back now with 20/20 vision.....2015 is blank to my sight. but I trust the One who has written out my days to bring it to completion.
                            

                           all the days ordained for me were written in your book                           before one of them came to be.                                      Psalm 139:16

my new word for 2015 is still obscured...waiting to see what it will be...