Why this restless,uneasy feeling? It's Monday morning, normally I am happy to putter about the house on Monday mornings setting things to rights after the bustling weekend.I thrive on a certain sense of order in my home;especially beds that are made and clean bathrooms.I love to hang my laundry outside and revel in the wonder of an unmarred week.
This morning there is something brewing in my spirit. I felt it beginning yesterday and try as I might, it hasn't yet been quelled. It feels like a mixture of that old fear/anxiety monster that I thought had departed.
Children growing up. WHY does that unsettle me so? Is that not what we want them to do?
We raise them to have wings,think for themselves, make decisions on their own.We want independent,capable,contributing to the good of society, moral, soon to be adults.
I pick up the pair of shoes my youngest wore to church yesterday.The ones that she said pinched her toes and are too small.It isn't a crime to outgrow something. Why does this at times fill me with such sorrow? It seems to be such a harsh reminder sometimes.
"There will always be beautiful clothes for them to wear",I console myself with this as I sort through her drawers to take out what's too small.
I pray for oldest daughter and peace in a decision over where to board for her second year at college.
So many things that need an answer.So many things that aren't up to me anymore.
I feel a peace begin to surround me. I hand these fears of the unknown to the One who knows just what I need,and has bountifully provided them for me.
I think of what I heard one sports commentor say last night "if you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans."
God, your ways are always the best.I hand you my fretting,fears and failures.
In Ann Voskamps book One Thousand Gifts she says " we shame the Bridge Builder with our worries,"
our demand to just stay here,or go back, but not to go on and again He comes to carry us, flailing and anxious." All fear is but the notion that God's love ends."
For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord,plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11
This morning there is something brewing in my spirit. I felt it beginning yesterday and try as I might, it hasn't yet been quelled. It feels like a mixture of that old fear/anxiety monster that I thought had departed.
Children growing up. WHY does that unsettle me so? Is that not what we want them to do?
We raise them to have wings,think for themselves, make decisions on their own.We want independent,capable,contributing to the good of society, moral, soon to be adults.
I pick up the pair of shoes my youngest wore to church yesterday.The ones that she said pinched her toes and are too small.It isn't a crime to outgrow something. Why does this at times fill me with such sorrow? It seems to be such a harsh reminder sometimes.
"There will always be beautiful clothes for them to wear",I console myself with this as I sort through her drawers to take out what's too small.
I pray for oldest daughter and peace in a decision over where to board for her second year at college.
So many things that need an answer.So many things that aren't up to me anymore.
I feel a peace begin to surround me. I hand these fears of the unknown to the One who knows just what I need,and has bountifully provided them for me.
I think of what I heard one sports commentor say last night "if you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans."
God, your ways are always the best.I hand you my fretting,fears and failures.
In Ann Voskamps book One Thousand Gifts she says " we shame the Bridge Builder with our worries,"
our demand to just stay here,or go back, but not to go on and again He comes to carry us, flailing and anxious." All fear is but the notion that God's love ends."
For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord,plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11
Lucy...words here that every mother empathizes with! So we 'trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean...:)' Blessings Sis!
ReplyDeleteLovely post! I worry about mine growing older too, but as long as they are healthy and happy that is enough for me:)
ReplyDelete~Anne
First of all, the Jeremiah quote is my very favorite quote, and I got a tear when I saw it. You did the most perfect thing by putting your fears and worries in God's hands. Everything will be o.k., and I'm so glad you feel a sense of peace now.
ReplyDelete~Sheri at Red Rose Alley