After A While Flowers Mean More Than Ever

                   Flowers; they've been on my mind lately.        

 Maybe it's because they are rather scarce this time of year.
Maybe it's because the weather has been crummy, not sure whether to be frigid or balmy.
Maybe it's because when daughter brought that pretty bouquet home from her boyfriend, she  took them to her room to enjoy.

Maybe it's because eventually you learn that life is too short  not to share it with someone and flowers like everything else are so much better shared.

The poem After A While  has  been a perennial, (pun intended) favorite of mine,( I posted it  HERE )
Recently I came across an absolutely ,beautiful  conclusion to this poem.
 May you enjoy these wonderful words...
AFTER "AFTER A WHILE"

After 'after a while'
You want to hold a hand not to chain a soul but
to enjoy its company,
and you want someone's lips to kiss,
not because you are lonely but because you are
happy, and you want to give presents
and you want to make promises.

After 'after a while'
You begin to accept your defeats like an adult,
but like a child, will want someone to listen
and care,
and you want someone who will build roads with
you today so maybe you can pave the way for your
future together.

After 'after a while'
You want someone's sunshine and warmth,
but also accept the rain and the cold,
and you want to give flowers picked from your
own garden.

And when your garden is picture perfect,
you want it to be more than a picture
even if it means having to be imperfect
because you want someone in it to stay and to
live.
Then you'll see that there is
such a thing as love...
and that you were made to live in someone else's garden...
and you'll know that there is more to life than yourself.

AND NOW...
You realize that no matter how tightly you hold,
if you're meant to let go, you can
And then you will understand that love
gives you reasons to understand
even the most complicated situations
And you will grow older believing that just
because you have convictions
doesn't mean you're always right

You will remember lips because of the smiles
that made your day,
the words that touched your soul, not only
because of the sweet kissesAnd as you graciously accept defeat and absorb
the meaning of lessons
learned,
You feel that you are finally being the person
you never thought you'd be

So, armed with courage, strength and confidence,
you will face the world
head on...
With or without an army behind you
Because you know your worth and that alone is an
armor 
 Via.

                                                                 
    more than anything, I must always have flowers.
                       ( Claude Monet)

                                                    
                   A gardener dreams in color, all winter long.....

Though Much Is Taken,So much Abides....(Tennyson)

Why this restless,uneasy feeling? It's Monday morning, normally I am happy to putter about the house on Monday mornings setting things to rights after the bustling weekend.I thrive on a certain sense of order in my home;especially beds that are made and clean bathrooms.I love to hang my laundry outside and revel in the wonder of an unmarred week.
This morning there is something brewing in my spirit. I felt it beginning yesterday and try as I might, it hasn't yet been quelled. It feels like a mixture of that old fear/anxiety monster that I thought had departed.
Children growing up. WHY does that unsettle me so? Is that not what we want them to do?
We raise them to have wings,think for themselves, make decisions on their own.We want independent,capable,contributing to the good of society, moral, soon to be adults.
I pick up the pair of shoes my youngest wore to church yesterday.The ones that she said pinched her toes and are too small.It isn't a crime to outgrow something. Why does this at times fill me with such sorrow? It seems to be such a harsh reminder sometimes.
"There will always be beautiful clothes for them to wear",I console myself with this as I sort through her drawers to take out what's too small.
I pray for oldest daughter and peace in a decision over where to board for her second year at college.
So many things that need an answer.So many things that aren't up to me anymore.

I feel a peace begin to surround me. I hand these fears of the unknown to the One who knows just what I need,and has bountifully provided them for me.
I think of what I heard one sports commentor say last night "if you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans."
 God, your ways are always the best.I hand you my fretting,fears and failures.

In Ann Voskamps book  One Thousand Gifts  she says " we shame the Bridge Builder with our worries,"
our demand to just stay here,or go back, but not to go on and again He comes to carry us, flailing and anxious." All fear is but the notion that God's love ends."




For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord,plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future.
                    Jeremiah 29:11