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She was at the kitchen counter when I walked in from driving her brother to the nearest ski hill for an evening of snow boarding with friends.
"What are you doing?" was my query.
"Making brownies," she replied with an air of independence as she carefully examined the recipe before her.
"Need help?"was my next question as stood I and watched for a second.
"No,"she stated simply.
"Good" I think to myself, 'just the way I like it!'
This is the stage of parenting I'm at...it is a stage that arrives in little increments as each of my children become independent and discover who they are and what they're capable of.
It's not that I'm not needed, just not needed beside them each step of the way anymore. I have at times worried that my children are too independent and don't need me.But really this is the gift to me,the results of pouring into their lives,and giving them small steps towards freedom and independence.
It's a little like when my girls had an interest in using the sewing machine. At first they would sit in front of me and we'd practise sewing straight and getting the feel of the fabric moving under our hands.
Eventually they would sit down by the sewing machine on their own and create something they could envision.I would be summoned to help when the bobbin was empty or the sewing machine was acting up and needed some tuning! But with time they also learned how to solve the dilemmas without my intervention.
At times this stage of parenting can be unsettling. After all I WANT to feel needed!
Isn't this what a Mother wants more than anything?I have thrived on nurturing my children and as they get older that nurturing just doesn't quite look like it used to.Good food, and warm clothes,and good-night stories as I tuck them all in at relatively the same time...
Now I often text my daughter who is away at school to say good-night. My second oldest will come home from her job after I'm in bed most nights.
Does this mean I'm no longer needed?
I am learning to believe that it doesn't.
It means they are trying to figure out life's sewing machine on their own; and although they will run into problems that may need intervention, independence is the reward of parenting, and just as at times when they were sewing,I wanted to stand beside them and make sure they 'were doing it right', it will be better for both of us if I walk away. They'll let me know when they need help!
here are the brownies....they were delicious!!even though I heard her exclaim from the kitchen at one point "OH NO! I forgot to grease the pan!" :)
"What are you doing?" was my query.
"Making brownies," she replied with an air of independence as she carefully examined the recipe before her.
"Need help?"was my next question as stood I and watched for a second.
"No,"she stated simply.
"Good" I think to myself, 'just the way I like it!'
This is the stage of parenting I'm at...it is a stage that arrives in little increments as each of my children become independent and discover who they are and what they're capable of.
It's not that I'm not needed, just not needed beside them each step of the way anymore. I have at times worried that my children are too independent and don't need me.But really this is the gift to me,the results of pouring into their lives,and giving them small steps towards freedom and independence.
It's a little like when my girls had an interest in using the sewing machine. At first they would sit in front of me and we'd practise sewing straight and getting the feel of the fabric moving under our hands.
Eventually they would sit down by the sewing machine on their own and create something they could envision.I would be summoned to help when the bobbin was empty or the sewing machine was acting up and needed some tuning! But with time they also learned how to solve the dilemmas without my intervention.At times this stage of parenting can be unsettling. After all I WANT to feel needed!
Isn't this what a Mother wants more than anything?I have thrived on nurturing my children and as they get older that nurturing just doesn't quite look like it used to.Good food, and warm clothes,and good-night stories as I tuck them all in at relatively the same time...
Now I often text my daughter who is away at school to say good-night. My second oldest will come home from her job after I'm in bed most nights.
Does this mean I'm no longer needed?
I am learning to believe that it doesn't.
It means they are trying to figure out life's sewing machine on their own; and although they will run into problems that may need intervention, independence is the reward of parenting, and just as at times when they were sewing,I wanted to stand beside them and make sure they 'were doing it right', it will be better for both of us if I walk away. They'll let me know when they need help!
here are the brownies....they were delicious!!even though I heard her exclaim from the kitchen at one point "OH NO! I forgot to grease the pan!" :)
The most memorable of meals are often made by hands that did it all with love...how utterly precious LUCY!
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU SO MUCH for taking the time to come by to comment. MANY THANKS! Anita
Thank you Anita, you're too sweet.xo
DeleteI read this and think hopefully toward the future with my kids. They are 6 and 7 now, and still need me for many things, but often I'm hearing, "I can do it myself, Mom." Most of the time I'm proud of them, and encourage. Other times, I ask... "Are you sure?" All part of growing up, as a kid ~ and as a mom! Have a great day, Lucy :)
ReplyDeleteThey will always need us Lucy, although you are so right, thay are learning to stretch their own wings and fly.
ReplyDeleteAnd its a beautiful sight to behold.
I miss the days when they were young and we did everything together.
But this different season in their lives, our lives is necessary too.
I recognize that sweet mother's heart so well. Those brownies look scrumptious!
My favourite thing when I was growing up was baking...I still love it!
Love, hugs and sm;)les to you my friend xo
All my heart,
Deborah xoxo
Thank-you Megan and Deborah I love your sentiments...every season carries its own beauty.
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