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Friday, 28 March 2014

The Accumulation Of Memories


She moved the other day, wrapping up almost twenty four years here beside us. She lived on an acre of land which originally belonged to  their farm. ( now ours) 
She had been given the name...  grandma beside us.
After seven years of widowhood, she moved to live with her only daughter and family.
A resignation of independence in  many ways and ready, but not ready.
 Are we ever really ready for those things that force us from our comfort zone?
Although still in great health, the unanimous decision by the family  was made that at 83, living alone poses some concerns. 

I ponder  the dynamics in our relationship. How they seemed to have  changed over the years.
How her interest in my(our) lives had at first felt invasive... but then somehow caring and thoughtful.
We were not your  typical daughter/mother in law. We shared an unspoken bond and common similarities sprinkled with vast differences but we accepted  each other, and understood one another in ways we never verbalised.

She lived far enough away that we had independent lives. She lived close enough to us to be an integral part of our lives. 
Now I drive by in the evening and I don't see her  at the table doing word search.
 The house is dark, deserted and lonely. An abode filled with memories. 
Mourning the woman who grew old in body; but whose mind and spirit remained youthful, knowing happiness is homemade and comes through serving others.


(one of the numerous quilts she stitched)

I remember a conversation recently with my family when we were eating dinner out at a restaurant. My children asked  if I could rewind time; which time, (in their lives) would I choose?
Hmm, I remember the sweet days of their childhood. Oh the simplicity, innocence and wonder...the problems and hurts that could be solved with a kiss and a hug.

"no" I could not go back there. It is the present that is beautiful...  the NOW that isn't finished.
 A  piece of art; to be appreciated in the collection of memories.

                                                ( I took these cuttings from her plant named baby tears...)     

Recollection brings out  beauty. In my mind I see her, my mother in law in the window waving.  Every morning she would watch for the school bus and wave to my children and whoever noticed her there. A steadfast and moving portrayal of life.
A wave, the stages and our days; then we move on to the next phase. 
Each one  brief and bittersweet. 

I pick up her mail that has not yet changed address. She loved mail. I guess when you live alone and your days are long and lonely, mail is that bright spot...that needed diversion. I start a pile to take to her when we visit. Something that will no longer be spontaneous, but a conscious choice and an event.


I sit here and think about change, and it's constant rhythm, the continuous surrender that must be embraced if we expect to live lives brimming with joy.
I know my mother in law will adjust to her new surroundings, I know eventually it will feel like home...
I know my heart will cease to have pangs at her absence.
I know we will sort her left over belongings, and look forward to new neighbours.

                                                           I'll treasure this recent birthday card...

                      Spring will bring robins and flowers will begin a new circle of life.

                               Though much is taken; much abides. 

Tuesday, 18 March 2014

Still There

 Even the palest colours are breaths of mercy..

    the faintest whispers are words...

the quietest notes are still music..

and even echoes are heard.

Sometimes it is the still and subtle things that speak the loudest.
Open my eyes today Lord, open my ears to listen.
and at the close of this day may I not regret any aspect of it's memory.

Sunday, 9 March 2014

Telling Time

  the time change,my birthday month and daughters growing up, evoked a little rambling on time. thank you for taking the time to read:)

So the clocks skipped an hour...I was too tired to move the clocks ahead when I went to bed, but as soon as I opened my eyes this morning and squinted at my alarm clock I told myself that isn't really the time...add an hour.

At times this feels like my life theme!
What,Look at the time!
That can't be the time! 
Where did the time go?

Time...we are slaves to it. It dictates our lives and orders our days.
seconds, minutes, hours and years...ticking away and dropping into that vault of no return.

Sometimes we pine for moments gone...for a chance to correct our mistakes or to just be able to retract the years and live... really LIVE in the moment.


Oh I say it... often..."savour the moment"...to my daughter looking forward to her wedding in a few short months...."enjoy now"....I know she does (she's wise that way
but I know she will look back on the years she lived here under her parent's roof and realise, just how short a time that really is...(granted God blesses her with many married years.)

Second daughter living away from home for a year...experiencing city life....learning to fly on her own while she shines God's light to  many who are under privileged (involved in a ministry for low income families) loving what she's doing- but all the while wondering if time is running out on her...after all she is almost nineteen and still has no idea what she would like to do with her life!

The time is now...she must hurry and follow those big dreams...but how?


Allocating the minutes of our lives is a life long journey. Somewhere between here and there  we learn just how vain it is to wish to return to another place in time.

The innocent days of childhood are replaced with a more noble realisation; that no matter how old we get, and no matter what we learn in that process we can not change the course of time by adding an hour, but that time flies by while we are busy
 loving to live, and living to love.

                              the time with these girls is precious...(Katrina on left, Brittany on right)

Jeremiah 29:11


Saturday, 8 March 2014

Savouring Saturday

    Bringing back these egg carton tulips....

                    the shelf in my  laundry room...

temperatures are climbing, and that's a good thing!

She carefully gathers the minutes of her life 
and LIVES them. J. Kilbard)

Happy Weekend...love~ Lucy.

Thursday, 6 March 2014

Where It Counts


I have this work out DVD  and during the most intense part of the work out, the instructor says "this is where it counts the most."

The line jumped out at me one day. I had just almost given in to the temptation to stop.

This.is. where. it. counts. the. most.

  At times life can feel like a gruelling work out. Yes?
          whether it is health , financial burdens, 
 difficult relationships, regret, or simply the daily grind of living.

 What counts most is  when we find that dose of grit we didn't know we had... that resiliency to keep going; that burst of strength to believe the impossible. 
 That courage plucked out of a crevice in a concrete world.

Flowers look to the sun so the shadows fall behind them. (Helen Keller)
True colours  are vibrant in adversity.


Facing a difficult day? .... keep going. 
The rewards are waiting for you because remember; this is where it counts the most.

      Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest
                                 IF WE DO NOT GIVE UP!  (Galatians 6:9)

I wrote this a few weeks ago but I thought I'd share here at the beginning of a new month, beginning of Lent,
and HOPEFULLY the beginning of spring!!