Night Flower Promenade

I walk as quietly as I can  past the silent tent. The only sound is the flip flop sound of my sandals kissing the soles of my feet. Whoever named them flip flops certainly could not have picked a better name.                                                                                                                   

 I remember my first pair of the long coveted, flip flops. They were purchased at the Elmira sidewalk sale. One of the traditions and highlights of my childhood summers was to see all the vendors out on the sidewalk and if the sale was right, we just may end up with an exciting purchase. One advantage of a large family is the joy derived from sharing one anothers belongings. There is very few mine items. There is mostly ours.
But those flip flops were mine. Now I still buy a new pair every summer. Although I don't wear them as much anymore, they are still perfect for the beach or the garden.


Any how, I am on my way past the tent ,where my two youngest have been dreaming peacefully for the last hour.
They had set it up for a sleepover with a friend last evening, and now to maximize the experience they are once again tucked in for the night. 
The moon is full tonight and it's ambiance is enough to lure me from the confines of brick and mortar to a mysterious, windowless existence. 
Here darkness lightly cloaks the garden, and the row of yellow gladiola look like lanterns lit for a special occasion. I admire this even though it was disappointing to have all yellow.
 After years of glads in varied colours, somehow they have all turned yellow.
 The science behind this eludes me. I am left to conjure up a metaphor in my mind,
  and enjoy yellow glads!
                                                           

So here I am brandishing my knife at the sunflowers towering above me. 
They have all grown from seeds that have come up voluntarily.Since most of the annuals I had planted in front of the house have died, there is a need for a pop of colour there.
 I thought of this as I pulled into the driveway today after our swim at a neighbours pool.
 I  sense I have company out here in my twilight garden, and see Canyon our dog has wandered out with me,the strong and silent type.
                                                       
                                                                       

Now the sunflowers are cut and although it was difficult to see what they really looked like by moonlight, I hold the sturdy stems hopefully and  swish through the evening to place the sunflowers in my front porch bucket.
 I try to be  quiet but what is often the case in these scenarios, one thing leads to another as I move a chair and arrange my bouquet. " Mom?" says my son through the open window. 
 " Oh, yes it's just me." I reply. He may have gotten used to his Mom the night owl, but she isn't usually prowling around on the front porch.

                                                                  

  Satisfied with my evening promenade, I turn to  go inside.
 I can't resist glancing back though, at the bouquet beaming brightly in the gathering night.

                                                 

      

a little did you know?? sunflowers will droop if picked during daylight, they need to be picked either after dusk or at dawn.

Bleeding Heart Memoir

      I remember as a child being fascinated at the plant called  bleeding heart...I'd stare in awe at the hearts drooping delicately from the stem.So intricate and interconnected with one another...hence the inspiration for this memoir...       

"The truth is... it's hard...and their is a lot of grit and  very, little glory".She says this as if she wants to warn me and keep me safe, free from hurt and disappointment.
I nod understandingly.
The truth is, at this point I don't care. I would rather have the whole messy truth, over glib guessing games, and plain indifference.
Glossy pages and shiny facades are fun to look at,but after a while they leave you panting, quenching as well as a drink of salt water would.

"I'm ready". I say this with firm resolve.
"To feel is everything, and to be unable to feel is nothing at all." I say this with an emotion that evokes experience.
                                                   

For I have been in both places. Not all at once but at different times in my life.
Sometimes grappling  with fear of the unknown as it subtly stole the joy of the present. Times tenacious hand would clench darkly around my soul,embittering  and hardening my true feelings.
I will not go back to that place ever.
Other times I lived in a state of bliss and mysterious wonder. My world seemed to be conquered and I was ambiguous and aware all at once.

Now here at this crossroads; I was to choose which course I wanted to take.
And I know without a shadow of doubt I will take the path of pain and hardship. The path of trust,the path of honesty even at a price. The way of forgiveness,that has also been shown to me.

 The easy road isn't always the best, and the high road is over rated. 
For when we have lived,when we have felt,stumbled and fallen, when we've cried a little and laughed alot. We have lived, really lived. 
Beautiful, glorious, messy living. Not always picture perfect or pretty, but with hearts that have opened to receive love and grace. Much like the rain that keeps falling and being soaked up by the fertile earth. We keep loving with feeling and forgiving hearts.

(and I want also to add here that even though our hearts bleed at times,
our Heavenly Father allowed His Son's blood to pay for all our sin.For that I am so grateful)......John 3:16

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWPDLwO0uwI

joining here...http://www.create-with-joy.com/2013/06/inspire-me-monday-week-74.html

A Winter Memoir

                                                                                                                                                

 
















via


The dusk had gathered like a curtain closing in the day. 
I realised my youngest was still outdoors somewhere in the clear,crisp edge of evening.
Thinking I should check on her I went to the door and called her name and asked  " Are you still out here somewhere?"
"Who me?" her voice echoing off the barn came back. "Yes,under the mulberry tree."
I closed the door and smiled. I couldn't call her in just yet, homework and piano practice would wait.

After all childhood is brief, and dreams must be dreamed when you're young, before they are buried by life, and it's constant demands,of purpose and duty and good, honest work.
I drift back to the innocent days of childhood.Oh how winter evenings would lure me out to experience their mesmerizing power. I remember the feeling of exhilaration as I coasted down the long hill in our field, and finally rolling off at the bottom I'd stare up at the star filled  heavens and wonder about life and meaning but not really caring too much... because my world felt  safe and happy here on this tiny piece of  earth.

There was a song waiting to be discovered deep inside of me....but for the moment it wasn't important because here on a snow covered hill staring up at a thousand twinkling stars, my life was significant and promising, and that was really all that mattered.
There was a delicious supper waiting for me inside,and siblings and parents who cared about me.

 Life was simple and unblemished as it should be.

                   And things looked ever so clear ...
            on a dark and frosty, starlit winter's night.

                   my younger sister and I.( I think I was  4)suddenly I feel very old:)

   Home is a starting place for dreams and love.


313-finally a decent cover of snow,314-reciting scripture we've memorised,315-skating together,316-floor shopping with hubby,317-fireplace fixed again,318-smoke alarm that woke daughter who woke us,319-baking,320-homemade soup,321-understanding sisters,322-patience beyond myself sometimes,323-trying to listen more,324-enjoying Love and Respect study together,325-prayer power,326-hugs ,327-hubby laughing insanely at Duck Dynasty,328-acceptance in the fact that we are very different,329-gratitude in that fact!330-winter clearance sales,331-Target and Starbucks coming soon,332-fruit that I canned in the summertime,333-seasons of life,334-health for so many of us,335-dreams,336-love in my heart ,337-tucking in kids at night,338-learning from my children,339-reading to them,340-antidote of that fresh winter air.