I want to share this poem that I love.It almost contradicts its self,which I find intriguing.
It reminds me of that great quote TO THINE SELF BE TRUE by Shakespeare.
Telling us to be authentic and know we can never really deceive ourselves.
But I would find your thoughts on the second verse helpful . I can't quite define what he is saying here.
Maybe it's meant that way,but if you have any insight on it I'd love to hear it.
Great God I ask Thee for no meaner pelf
Than that I may not disappoint myself;
That in my action I may soar as high
As I can now discern with this clear eye;
And next in value that thy kindness lends,
That I may greatly disappoint my friends-
Howe'er they think or hope that it may be,
They may not dream how Thou'st distinguished me;
That my weak hand may equal my firm faith,
And my life practise more than my tongue saith;
That my low conduct may not show ,
Nor my relenting lines,
That I thy purpose did not know,
Or overrated Thy designs.
Henry David Thoreau