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Thursday, 25 September 2014

Finding Feathers

Now that two of my daughters have left the nest. One who has permanently flown  (although she does come home to sleep on the occasions when she has two twelve hour shifts back to back)
The other daughter is in university and will be home the occasional  weekend and holidays.

                               a favorite photo from a few years ago sits on a window ledge

Somehow this has has felt like a double whammy of change. I knew it was  to happen eventually, but it has taken me a little time to adjust.

Through the highs and lows of this phase and settling into a new normal, I have been working on cleaning up the remains that somehow seemed to be an integral element, of their bedroom.
I even wrote about it once out of desperation...here.

                                            the bittersweet tidy:)
One day as I was working on organising and revamping their closet, I came across a poster my girls had put up when they were much younger, and why this poster ended up in the closet is a mystery.
Here behind the beautiful wedding dress,(which will eventually get cleaned and boxed for my daughter) and banished sweaters and other rejected clothing, was a groovy girl poster.

It looked ambiguous and innocent, and I stared at it enchanted.
It took me back to a time of girls and dreams. 
Girls with imaginations and creativity that seemed limitless.
Girls who loved, and lived passionately.

Sisters tho' vastly different from one  another; in reality were quite the same.
Two fiercely independent and resilient spirits, both wanting to find a place for their dreams to flourish.

I recall two brave, "big girls" moving into a bedroom on a different floor, to accommodate a growing family.

I wish for a moment, that these walls would display some of its history, some of the giggles, disputes, and bedtime rituals.
I wish for a moment,  for a do over of the long days, 
  and that children would not grow up  so quickly.                                    

Time does not afford such luxuries, rather paying it forward,
leaving memories behind, like feathers scattered along life's way.

             the welcome home sign holds a special spot, as it was made to welcome hubby and I home once:)



  1. I understand how you feel. Though our cottage is too small to keep their rooms for them when they move out. With two gone we have one room that we have made into the guest room for the times when they come to visit. We have a separate room that was built in our garage that was my oldest son's room and when he moved out then the next wanted in and so on. So each child has moved into that room before moving out. My third is in there now and will be moving away this Summer. Then the fourth, the last, my baby will move into that room. It was never planned to happen that way. I try not to think about when they are all gone! Wahhh! I do not want that day to come.

    I am slowly learning the new rhythm to my days that are so quiet yet beautiful.
    I hope you will too. It's hard.
    Sending you love xxo

  2. Sweet reflections. Thanks for allowing us to listen in...

  3. Oh Lucy, I can feel a twinge of your mother's heart. For some reason, this post brought tears into my eyes and down my cheeks.

    Life is so precious and kids grow up faster than speeding bullets. Then, it's grandchildren time (which you willl one day experience, too.) All of these life experiences are precious. All are fleeting.

    It was a lovely post. (sniff sniff). Hope your weekend is nice, too. Susan

  4. Oh Lucy, I understand what you're saying. It can be such a sentimental time when our kids leave the nest. Your girls remind me somewhat of my own - two very different girls, but the same in many ways. I love the picture of the two of them playing together when they were little. What you said about 'memories left behind like feathers scattered' was so true, and the picture that goes with it is special.

    I wish you happiness in the days ahead, Lucy, and your girls will certainly come home to see their precious mother. I truly appreciate the words that you write. They are sincere and beautiful.


  5. Sweet Lucy,

    You have so lovingly expressed the war torn state of my own heart, with regards to my own daughter, who is living just a short car ride away from you! Lack of work, here in Greece, has forced us to be apart. But, she has prospered, learned so much, has been working steadily since she got there, and I am so very proud of her. I don't think that I can accept this situation indefinitely, since we are very close and I miss her so much! Thus, decisions need to be made, as to the future, permanent residence of this family.

    Adapting isn't easy, as you are finding out. Some days are better than others, and although my friends tell me that I must accept that she is an adult, I still always see that bright eyed and quick witted, intelligent, loving little girl, and I want to be needed by her, just like all those years ago. They will always be our babies.

    Hope you find more feathers. And, when you have collected enough, may they help you fly to more soothing places in your soul.


  6. Lucy, I can so completely
    relate, with my girl in her
    second year of college and
    my boy his second year of
    high school. That empty room
    touches my heart every time
    I pass it. The first year is hard,
    isn't it? But as Keri says, you
    do find your own rhythm, eventually.
    But oh, a do-over, now that would
    be divine ♥

    xo Suzanne


thank you and blessings for words from your heart...