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Wednesday, 24 April 2013

Twenty Years Ago...Life Was Different...

in lieu of my daughter's recent birthday I had a wee stroll back to that day when she was wee, and I was a new mommy...

I looked at this rolled up bundle and knew again I had not created her.
She was herself apart from me.She had her own life to lead,her own destiny to accomplish;she just came past me to this earth. My job was to get her to adulthood and then push her off.

(excerpt from the book Kindred Hearts by Debra Evans)

Twenty years ago my life was changed irrevocably. I became a mother.

Does any other one single event change you quite like becoming a mother does?
I was ecstatic, and frightened, elated, yet paralysed with fear.
Somehow I grew into motherhood, and found it to be the most rewarding and exhausting pursuit ever.
Recently when my daughter turned twenty, I wrote her a letter.
In it, I thanked her for all she taught me; because if there is one thing I have learned from being a mother it is that you are never done learning, and for all that we teach our children, I think they teach us more than we teach them.
Virtues such as patience, compassion,grace, forgiveness,strength  are so often found most clearly through an innocent child.


 So when I came across this book on my shelf the other week, I began reading it. It was one I had never read and I find myself encouraged by the practical wisdom and thoughts.
My heart's desire is to be my daughters' mother and friend.This book is a look at achieving this in a balanced way.
She also dispels the notion of a perfect mother/daughter relationship as something that will never be this side of heaven, even though we may idealize some pairs to be. This reminded me of a conversation I had with my two oldest girls some years ago when I was tucking them into bed. We were discussing my mothering and my oldest put it this way..."well, you're not a perfect mom, but you're a good mom."
I recall not being sure if I should laugh or cry, but now it makes me smile, I'll take it...I've given up on attaining perfection here on this earth. I want my girls to know I am human that I fail and it is only by God's grace that any of us can love.

              At each point of a child's life they leave us by degrees,and we     must learn to give them again into God's hands. (Karen Burton Mains)



  1. What a beautiful photo of you and your daughter! That book sounds like a good one. Happy birthday to your daughter, and to you as a Momma:)

  2. Hi Lucy,

    I loved reading this most heart-felt post! My daughter will be turning twenty-four (!) next month and I'm so grateful for her and HER wisdom. Like you said, she has taught me so many of the virtues you mentioned. Thanks for sharing these lovely thoughts and happy birthday to your dear daughter!


    PS: She looks like you!

  3. Hello Lucy...Your sweet daughter definitely favors you. Happy (belated) birthday to her!

    That was a lovely post. Very nostalgic. You are right about a mother's heart having to be elastic. Isn't that the truth?

    It's sad when they live far away from you, too. It's never the same but as mothers, we must let them go. Like little birds, from time to time, they will come back, ever so briefly, to the nest. Susan

  4. Happy Birthday to your daughter...I love this photo of you both....gorgeous!
    This hits close to home and I love the honesty and love here.
    Its warms the soul xo

    All my heart,
    Deborah xoxoxo


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